Friday, 19 September 2014

School Bully

Cool is not cool
- Matt Smith in Doctor Who, written by Steven Moffat


As I walked into the office I recognised her immediately, the hair still backcombed to a ridiculous height, the same sneering face as she harangued one of her colleagues.
'I won't be the one to go,' she snarled 'Even them twats from head office will know I'm quality, they'll get rid of you, you're crap'.
I checked my paperwork, Tracy Burton, how could I not have realised. She'd been the coolest girl in my class & made my live a living hell.
For the first time ever I was going to enjoy making someone redundant!




Entwined


Here is the quote



Grow old along with me the best is yet to be. 

Robert Browning



When we first met our love burned hot & fierce.
We slept with our bodies entwined.
The years have passed & the love still burns strong
Age has taken its toll, now we sleep with our hands entwined.
When we die & are cremated our ashes will be entwined before they are scattered.
In hopes we will remain entwined forever.

Sunday, 14 September 2014

The Hotel

She paused opposite the  grand entrance to the hotel, she would walk through the doors soon but for now she paused, not because she was intimidated by the hotel, no, she just wanted to run through the instructions the agency had forwarded from the new client.
Hotel guests all know that the concierge will be able to provide them with a hooker, but those with more unusual tastes use the agency.
She checked her suitcase, no handcuffs or nipple clamps this time, just a tea strainer, wellington boots & tube of Deep Heat, oh well what ever floats your boat, she thought.

Sunday, 7 September 2014

Bitter Pill part 2

Be careful when you fight the monsters, lest you become one.

Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)



It gnawed away at him, the opportunity to get laid being so close & yet still unobtainable. He trawled the websites looking for a way in, somewhere there must be a woman who wanted to attend one of these parties but didn't want to go with her husband.
He didn't realise that these women were so rare they are referred to as unicorns!
Eventually he realised that he'd have to persuade his wife to accompany him, it was the only way.
He chose his moment carefully, she was driving so she couldn't walk away from him, they were driving home from the super market, where he had walked round with his calculator, ensuring she spent a little as possible. 
He started by explaining the unfairness of the current situation & how aggrieved he felt about this. He went on to explain how little value she had to him now, yes, she answered the business phone, but he had an answer phone, she cooked his meals, but he could buy convenience food, she did the housework, but he could soon hire a cleaner.
Her knuckles whitened on the steering wheel, but she said nothing, so he ploughed on with his explanation. Her job was poorly paid & despite her contributing 75% of her salary into the family pot, it was a meagre amount & made no real difference.
At this she did reply, she reminded him that the reason she only worked part time was so she could work in his business, packing up orders ready for the courier collections, whilst he was out having long boozy lunches with customers. He waved this explanation away dismissively.
She didn't say any more, even when they arrived home she remained silent,he was quietly pleased that she had taken his comments on board & was thinking it over. He didn't notice the strange look on her face, he was so smugly excited that his plans would soon come to fruition.
He arranged for them to attend the next party at the end of the month, then went to find her to share his good news. As usual she was in the garden among the tall flowers that she seemed to like so much. She merely nodded when he told her the date he'd booked. But as he was about to walk away she spoke. 'How is this going to balance up the numbers, if we go to the party & both have sex with other people?'
At this he laughed out loud, 'You don't seriously think anybody is going want you?' he spluttered.
She blinked slowly 'But what about the keys in the bowl?'
'Well someone is going to draw the short straw when they get our keys' he chortled.
He was in a good mood for the rest of the day & chuckled every so often, repeating the phrase 'short straw'.
He ate the meal she prepared without his usual complaints, she offered him a cup off coffee but he refused. 'Whisky, I'm in the mood for celebrating'.
He open up his laptop and started to read out the list of the party dates & telling her which ones he expected them to attend.
She made no reply, she just topped up his glass but without her usual suggestions that he should drink less. She even served him a  bowl of his favourite salted nuts. At this he did complain, 'These nuts have got black specks on them, they taste strange'.
'I'm sorry' she replied, 'I picked up the peppered ones by mistake'
'Stupid cow', by now he was beginning to slur his words & a few moments later staggered up to bed.
She went out into the garden & with tears rolling down her cheeks she tore up the beautiful foxgloves that she loved so much, she cut them into small pieces & added them to the compost heap.
By morning he'd be dead, if murder was suspected she'd pay the price for her crime, until then she'd continue to enjoy her garden.

Friday, 5 September 2014

The Bridge


Dare she take that walk, the one over the bridge?
Even on a good day, when she wasn’t down or depressed, she felt drawn to the water, looking into its oily, swirling depths.
Today, the anniversary of losing everything she held dear, dare she.
Only one way to tell, kill or cure, she’d walk that way, over the bridge.
One day she wouldn’t arrive on the other side.

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Bitter Pill

It was proving a bitter pill to swallow, but it was of his own making, his desire, his obsession with fairness, or parity as he chose to phrase it.
He was entitled, surely, to parity. She'd had 5 or 6 lovers before they met, where as he'd only had sex with 2 girls & one of them had given him a dose of the clap.
He had so little sex as a teenager, two shags in ten years it wasn't fair, he needed more, to even the score.
Eventually it dawned on him that he was never going to catch up, make up the shortfall between her sexual conquests before they wed & his measly head count.
He tried to even up the numbers by cheating, but he really didn't have the social skills to get women into bed with him, he spent days, weeks sometimes working out long list of arguments as to why one of his colleagues should have sex with him, funnily enough this didn't seem to work & as rejection made him aggressive & resentful sometimes even a 'no' that meant 'ask me again' ended up with anger & recriminations.

Browsing on line he found the answer, swinging, woohoo, this was for him. No difficult conversations, no persuasion, all he had to do was grab a set of keys from the bowl & he could get laid.

He emailed an application, when the reply arrived it posed another problem, to go wife swapping he needed to take his wife with him & she didn't want to go! And anyway, if she went too, the head count would still be uneven.